My dear daughter,
It is unhealthy to form friendships with those who are perpetual victims, that is, those who believe everything happening around them is an attack on their person.
Wayne W. Dyer aptly said, “The way people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
If you ponder on this, you’ll realize people’s actions are a reflection of who they are and not who you are. People act according to how they’ve been groomed; by their environment, their family values, and personal experiences – these have nothing to do with you.
That said; don’t let your emotion waver when people express opinions of you that aren’t in line with your character. Instead, be pragmatic and evaluate every opinion so you can decipher which view expressed is true and which isn’t. If there’s an iota of negative truth in any, be sensitive and kind enough to remedy the flaws in your character.
But be careful you do not take things too personally because it is a springboard for regret and sadness. In most cases – if not all – It is healthier to our mental and emotional wellbeing to let go of other people’s opinions about us and focus only on what we think of ourselves. What you think of yourself is first and foremost, what matters.
Most of us are guilty of giving too much relevance to the opinion of others, causing us to react frantically, sans logic. For instance, if our kids don’t help with the house chores, we assume they are purposely defying us; if our spouse doesn’t show affection, we surmise they mustn’t care enough; or when someone’s words hurt us, we conclude they are out to get us.
My dear, offences will arise – that’s how the world is wired – so as much as you can, see the actions of others as non-personal encounters that you can either choose to respond to calmly or not at all.
It may be impossible to control people’s words and actions, but you can definitely control how you react.
Love you always,
Dad