Ecclesiasticus 27:33-28:9; Psalm 103; Romans 14:7-9; Matthew 18:21-35
The readings of today are just very powerful and thought provoking.
I want to begin my reflection by summarising the message of the first reading into two sentences;
1.Whoever exacts vengeance or keeps strict account of the sins of others will experience the displeasure of the Lord.
2. Forgive your neighbour so that God will forgive you and your prayers may be answered.
This is a mouthful already.
I must admit that forgiveness is a very sensitive topic. It is an issue that affects virtually every of us, some people do not like to even hear the word “forgiveness”, they find it irritating.
It goes without saying that forgiveness is tough, nobody ever feels like forgiving, it runs contrary to our natural instincts, sometimes it looks impossible especially when the hurt is deep or the offender expresses no regret.
Some people have said that they will rather die than forgive. There are times that bitterness feels like the only just punishment for what has been done to us.
The entire readings and Psalms of today is the message that forgiveness is important, necessary and possible.
However, today I am not preaching on the meaning and importance of forgiveness.
I want to focus on a forgiveness issue often neglected- the issue of how do I forgive? There are people who really want to forgive but they just don’t know how that is possible, how that can happen?
May I propose in brief, five steps to forgiveness, no time to explain in-depth but I trust the Holy Spirit to do that in your hearts.
1.Pray for the grace:
As I said earlier, forgiveness runs contrary to our instinct. Forgiveness is divine. It is a participation in the attribute of God; it is the work of the Holy Spirit in us. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you with the grace to forgive, to heal out of every hurts and pains in your life, to make you more aware of God’s love in your life.
2.Talk about it
Many times when people are hurting they say, ” I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to forget about it, you need at least a selective amnesia to forget such pains.”
Don’t try to bottle your pains, face it in the presence of another. Take your time to share what has happened to you with someone trustworthy, who could counsel you and support you. You may consider talking to a priest, a spiritual director or a counselor.
III. Think about God’s mercy to you and declare boldly and constantly that you want to forgive even when you are struggling.
Your declaration becomes your strength.
Because I have offended God severally and He forgives me, I forgive you, I empty my heart of every negative feeling against you, I will not be tied to the hurt, I free myself, I am healed and I am free to live my life to the full.
IV. Don’t waste your pains
Offer the hurt, pain and betrayal to the Lord and let them become your sacrifices for particular intentions. Our pains can become a great force to our prayers.
Lord, I offer to you, the pain caused me by… I offer them for…(souls in purgatory, for those in difficult marriages, for the dying, for those suffering from cancer or other chronic health conditions, I offer my pains for those battling with dangerous addictions, for the conversion of sinners).
V. Be inspired by the stories of those who against all odds overcame their pains by forgiving.
Last week I read the inspiring story of Philip Robinson who forgave Ron Hammer who shot his dad in the front of his grocery store.
Then Brandt Jean who forgave and ask to hug the Dallas ex-cop (Amber Guyger) who shot his brother Botham Jean in his apartment.
When Brandt was interviewed on this matter, he said:
“I made a decision not to spend the rest of my life hating her, even though I am still grieving the loss of my brother, I chose to be set free from bitterness and anger.”
Then Brandt turned to the culprit and said “I love you as a person and I don’t wish anything bad on you.” (Then to the jury he asked) “Can I give her a hug?” Then he stood and they hugged each other while they both cried in each other’s arms.
Let us reflect on the examples of those who have forgiven and most importantly God who forgive us daily and draw strength to reach out to others in love and forgiveness.
Lord Jesus, I pray for anyone in this church or reading this homily finding it hard to forgive, let your Spirit empower, melt, strengthen and soften their hearts, so that they may make this decision which is your will and having done that, may they be set free and become more aware of your healing love, Amen.
Sermon preached by Rev. Fr Emmanuel Baraka-Gukena Okami on September 13, 2020