Laugh Quote
“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: ‘What are you looking at?’” – Margaret Smith
Wise Guys Answer To Stupid Question
Question: Are you pregnant?
Wise Guy: Piece of advice – if you can’t see the baby’s head, don’t assume the woman is pregnant.
Teacher And Student
Two Weeks Suspension
Student: “Sir, can I ask a question?”
Teacher: “Yes!”
Student: “How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?”
Teacher: “I don’t know.”
Student: “It’s easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!”
Teacher: “Ok, ask.”
Student: “How to put a donkey inside the fridge?”
Teacher: “It’s easy, you just open the fridge and put it in.”
Student: “No sir, you just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in.”
Teacher: “Ooh…ok!!”
Student: “Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?”
Teacher: “The lion of course! Because it would eat all the animals.” Student: “No sir, it is the donkey because it’s still inside the fridge.” Teacher: “Are you kidding me?”
Student: “No sir, one last question.”
Teacher: “Ok!”
Student: “If there’s a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?”
Teacher: “There’s no way, I would need a boat to cross.”
Student: “No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party…”
Teacher: “I have my own question; if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person…”
Student: “No idea sir…”
Teacher: “It’s you because you are on two weeks suspension.”
Cutting Comment
“Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”
Married Life
Perfect Shot
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity:
Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
Finally, his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long?
Hit the damn ball!”
The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot.”
“Forget it, man,” says his partner.
“You’ll never hit her from here.”
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