LAUGH QUOTE
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: People who exercise daily lose weight, why don’t you?
WISE GUY: People are able to appropriately interact with strangers, why can’t you?
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book!”
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
CUTTING COMMENT
“Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.”
MARRIED LIFE
Whose phone is this?
Several men are in the changing room of Ikoyi Golf club in Lagos. Then a mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: Hello
WOMAN: Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes
WOMAN: What’s wrong with your voice darling?
MAN: Nothing really, just tired!
WOMAN: Ok. I am at ShopRite shopping mall inside wranglers and found this beautiful Versace leather coat. It’s only N119, 000. Is it OK if I buy it?
MAN: Sure…go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership & saw the new 2020 model. I saw one I really liked.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: N48, 000,000:00
MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
WOMAN: “Great! One more thing … The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking N350, 000,000.00. It’s at Victoria Garden City – The house is so beautiful!
MAN: Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of N340, 000,000.00. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra ten million Naira. It really is a pretty good price.
WOMAN: OK. I’ll see u later! I love you so much!!”
MAN: Bye! I love you, too.
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, jaws dropped…
He smiles and asks: “Does anyone know the owner of this phone?”
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