LAUGH QUOTE
Be careful when reading health books, because you can die of a misprint.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: “Do you need to eat that?”
WISE GUY: “I thought that you were an accountant, are you also a dietitian?”
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Parallel lines.
Math Teacher: “What are Parallel lines?”
Smart Alec Student: “Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.”
DATING JOKE
Randy dad
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”
Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Angela is also your sister.”
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he
went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, “You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your father!”
BUSINESS JOKE
Exercise
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
CUTTING COMMENT
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be absolutely stupid.
MARRIED LIFE
Change
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does
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