By Charles Anyiam-Osigwe
Funny Quote- “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde.
Class Work
Teacher: Write a short story in a few words incorporating all three of the following elements -Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: “My God! I’m pregnant. I wonder who the father is?”
HOLY HUMOUR
DID you hear of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”
Wise Guy’s Answer To Stupid Question
QUESTION: What is the main reason for divorce?
WISE GUY: Marriage
Material Girl
There goes a Good Time Girl-She’s got the time whenever you’ve got the goodies.
Straight Guy
“Keith”, the wife said “Are you having an affair with another woman?” Keith: “Well you don’t expect me to have an affair with a man do you?
EY! EY!
“My wife and I don’t see eye to eye”. I’m six feet plus she’s five feet three inches. “
There You Have It
As the man said – “One man’s meat is a cannibals lunch”.
Small Insult
Said the diner to the waiter – “ I haven’t got much money on me, so I won’t insult you by giving you a two hundred Naira tip”.
Waiter: “ No problem Sir, go ahead and insult me even though I was expecting you will slap me with a hundred dollar bill.”
Funny Court Transcript
This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
Image Source: www.huffingtonpost.com