LAUGH QUOTE
A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby
Knock, Knock !
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Would you lettuce in it’s cold out here!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five – one to change it and four to deny it.
OK FOR MY DAUGHTER NOT THE MONEY.
“Mr. Tunde,” began the timid-looking young man, “er-ah, I want..is, can-er I, will you – “
“Why, yes, my boy, you may have her,” Tunde replied smiling.
The young man gasped. “What’s that? Have whom?” he nervously asked.
“My daughter, of course,” answered Tunde. “You want to marry her, don’t you?”
“Not really,” stammered the would-be suitor. “I just want to know if you could lend me N5, 000.”
“Certainly not!” Tunde exclaimed. “I hardly know you!”
WEIGHT OFF BUT FAR OFF.
The Doctor told uncle Femi that if he ran five miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, Uncle Femi called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.
“I’m 1500 miles from home.”
CHEAP LABOUR
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “My darling husband, I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: “My beloved wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.” A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. “My darling husband, you wouldn’t believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden.” The prisoner writes back: “My beloved wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables.”