LAUGH QUOTE
If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?
WISE GUY’S ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Where does Thursday come before Wednesday?
WISE GUY: In the dictionary.
DATING JOKE
HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE?
A man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at a table. After gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and says, ‘Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?’ She yells back, ‘No! I won’t sleep with you tonight!’ Everyone in the bar is now staring at them and the man slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. ‘I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,’ she says. ‘You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.’ The man shouts back, ‘What do you mean N5, 000?
BUSINESS JOKE
COPY CAT
Okoro applied for an engineering position at an International firm based in Nigeria. An expatriate applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department Manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Okoro and said.
Manager: “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the expatriate the job”
Okoro: “And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Nigeria and me being an original Naija man, I should get the job!”
Manager: “We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.”
Okoro: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”
Manager: “Simple, the expatriate put down on question number 10, “I don’t know.” You put down “Neither do I.”
MARRIED LIFE
Hollywood – Where the credits last longer than the marriages.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
TEACHER: What part of the world can you find the most ignorant people?
JIMOH: In Lagos.
TEACHER: And how did you come about this information?
JIMOH: ”Well, the geography of Nigeria says that’s where the population is the most dense.
CUTTING COMMENT
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” – Albert Einstein