LAUGH QUOTE
The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that they are too old to do it. – Shirley Maclaine
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you going to answer the door?
WISE GUY’S ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What do you call a letter from a feminist?
WISE GUY: Hate male.
DATING JOKE
Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed… My name, mobile phone number, living address, etc.
BUSINESS JOKE
Interview with a successful businessman: Tell me, how many people work in your company?
Businessman: Hmm… Approximately half.
MARRIED LIFE
Registrar: ‘’Any previous marriage?”
Film Actress: “Hey, are you kidding? Do I look unattractive?
CUTTING COMMENT
I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.
TEACHER – STUDENT
TEACHER: Funke your composition on ‘My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
FUNKE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.
IGNORANT TEACHER
“Dad,” said the youngster, “our teacher doesn’t know what a monkey looks like.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, when I painted one, he asked me what on earth that was supposed to be.”
JOYOUS OCCASION THIS TIME AROUND
“So you want another day off.” snorted the office manager to his staff. “I’m anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You’ve been off for your grandfather’s funeral four times already.”
Replied the clerk, “Today my grandma is getting married again.”
OH BABY
In desperation, the mother of a five-year-old boy said, “If you keep sucking your thumb, you’ll eventually blow up like a balloon!”
The next day the mother and her son attended a school party. Among those present was a woman who was obviously pregnant. The little boy spotted her and couldn’t contain himself. He walked up to the expectant mother and said, “I know what you’ve been doing!”
PERFECT FIT.
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
TEACHER: What is the plural of man, Ahmed?”
AHMED: Men he answered.
TEACHER: Good. And, what is the plural of child?
AHMED: Twins