LAUGH QUOTE
No man knows more about women than I do. I know nothing.
REAL COURT RECORD
QUESTION: She had three children, right?
ANSWER: Yes.
QUESTION: How many were boys?
ANSWER: None.
QUESTION: Were there any girls?
WISE GUY’S ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? WISE GUY: Springtime.
CUTTING COMMENT
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx
EXPENSIVE CALL
HIM – “Hello?”
WOMAN – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
HIM – “Yes.”
WOMAN – “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful evening dress. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
HIM – “What’s the price?”
WOMAN – “Only N150,000.00.”
HIM – “Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much…”
WOMAN – “Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2015 models.
I saw one I really liked.
I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price…and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year…”
HIM-“What price did he quote you?”
WOMAN – “Only N15, 000,000…”
HIM – “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN- “Great! But before we hang up, something else…”
HIM – “What?”
WOMAN – “It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and…I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year.
It’s on sale!! Remember?
The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property.”
HIM – “How much are they asking?”
WOMAN – “Only N150,000,000 – a magnificent price…and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”
HIM – “Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid N120, 000,000. OK?”
WOMAN – “OK, sweetie…Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”
HIM – “Bye…I love u too…”
The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”