LAUGH QUOTE
“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.” – Bertrand Russell
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow. You sure are excited to see me!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Why do they say, “An elephant never forgets?”
WISE GUY: Nobody ever asked him to remember anything!
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Primary School Teacher: “Tunde, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.”
Tunde: “Me.”
TV
A young woman is sitting in a café telling her friends her idea of the perfect mate. ‘The man I marry must be a shining light among company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!’ The elderly waitress overhears her and says, ‘If that’s all you want, get a TV!’
BUSINESS JOKE
CHANGE FROM WITHIN
“Make me one with everything,” says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, “Where is my change?”
The vendor replies, “Change comes from within.”
CUTTING COMMENT
If ignorance is bliss, you must be in a coma of euphoria by now.
MARRIED LIFE
HORSE PLAY
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Sexy Suzy written on it.”
He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Sexy Susy was the name of the horse I went there to bet on.”
She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She answers, “Your horse called.”