LAUGH QUOTE
Birthdays are good for us – the more birthdays we have the longer we live
“A man is as young as the woman he feels.” – Groucho Marx
BUSINESS JOKE
You know you worked in Corporate America in the 90’s if…
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more than 10 different desks.
You’ve been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different managers.
You order your business cards in “half orders” instead of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can’t explain it in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It’s dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word “opportunity” makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You’re already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your co-workers only.
Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes” or “when you’re freed up”.
You read this entire list and understood it.
MARRIED LIFE
STILL PAYING.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
NO LOVE HERE
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn’t wear a balaclava.
He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.
One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promptly shot him.
The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face.
One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said, “I think my wife got a glimpse”.