LAUGH QUOTE
I learn from the mistakes of others people who take my advices!
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
WISE GUY: Because it had a virus!
PORCH OR PORSCHE
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, “Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven’t had a good meal in several days.”
The owner says, “I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I’ve never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal.”
So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, “Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in.”
The hobo says, “Thank you very much, sir. But there’s something that I think you should know. It’s not a Porsche you got there. It’s a BMW.”
CUTTING COMMENT
“A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.” –
Groucho Marx
KEEN GOLFER
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.
She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains “Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer.” She figures 3 times in 30 years isn’t bad and asks “But what about the $1,000?” He replied, “Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them”