LAUGH QUOTE
If life is a great teacher then don’t be surprised if you have to pay school fees.
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s There?
Imma.
Imma who?
Imma gettin’ old open the door!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
WISE GUY: It went back four seconds.
DATING JOKE
RELATIVE TROUBLE
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can’t do it because he’s her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, “Mom… What have you been doing all your life? Dad’s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can’t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!”
Her mom replies, “Don’t worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn’t really your dad.”
BUSINESS JOKE
BALL SIZE
After a 2-year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male’s recreational preferences:
- The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
- The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
- The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
- The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
- The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
- The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
CUTTING COMMENT
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
MARRIED LIFE
WEATHER REPORT
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM.
The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up.
Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?”
“I don’t know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear.”