LAUGH QUOTE
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. -Anthony Burgess
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nana.
Nana who?
Nana your business.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What is the main reason for failure?
WISE GUY: Exams
TEACHER AND STUDENT
A STUDENT
During a multiple choice mathematics examination, a student who was not much good at the subject didn’t have a clue as to how to tackle the questions. There were 50 questions. For some reason, he decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter “A” for everything.
The following day, the teacher asked to see him after class. “Is everything okay?”
“Sure,” the student answered, “why?”
“Well, here’s your test,” said the teacher and handed him his test paper that was covered with red ink. “Can you explain why you chose an ‘A’ for everything?”
“Well, Sir,” said the student, “I’ve always wanted to be an ‘A’ student.”
MARRIED LIFE
MIND THE WALL
During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for a few more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!”
SMART WOMAN
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes four police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
Photo-Credit: huffpost.com