LAUGH QUOTE
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” -Will Rogers
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Why did the robber take a bath?
WISE GUY: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: “Why are you late, Ngozie?”
Ngozie: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Ngozie: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
DATING JOKE
RING? I’LL CALL YOU.
A girl asks her boyfriend: If we get engaged will you give me a ring?
Boyfriend: Of course. I have your phone number?
BUSINESS JOKE
WIRELESS
Businessmen from US, UK and Nigeria were trying to boost how developed their ancient civilization used to be.
UK BUSINESSMAN: We dug and found out copper cable led all along major ancient cities, this concludes we were using telephones since way back.
US BUSINESSMAN: Wow! However, we dug and found optical fiber. We were much more advanced in telecommunication since ages ago.
NIGERIAN BUSINESSMAN: Well, we were way ahead of you guys. Actually we dug and dug deep, but found nothing. This of course concludes we were using wireless communication way back.
CUTTING COMMENT
I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I won’t say it.
MARRIED LIFE
STRESS LEVELS.
You stop and pick up a nice hitchhiking girl.
Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital. This is STRESS!
In the hospital you are told that she is pregnant and about to deliver and the nurses start congratulating you on the eminent arrival of your new baby.
You explain that you hardly know the girl and only met her about an hour ago for the first time in your life.
However, she starts telling them that you are the father of her baby. This is BIG STRESS
You ask for a DNA test to prove her claim false.
The test results confirm your claim, however it also shows that you are sterile, that actually, you can’t father children.
You are relieved that the girl’s claim has been proved false but you recall that you and your wife have four kids.
This is MEGA STRESS.