LAUGH QUOTE
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Dumbbell.
Dumbbell who?
Dumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!
Wise guy’s answer to stupid question
Q: What book do women like the most?
A: “Their husbands checkbook!”
HEAD’S SHE WINS TAILS SHE WINS.
“There’s good news and bad news,” the divorce lawyer told his client.
“I could sure use some good news,” sighed the client. “What is it?”
“Your wife isn’t demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.”
“And the bad news?”
“After the divorce, she’s marrying your father.”
BIG FAKE
QUESTION: Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by “A B C D E F?
ANSWER: Sure –
A – almost gone
B – barely noticeable
C – comfortable
D – damn good
E – extremely big and
F – Fake
THAT’S NOT FUNNY?
Four young men in sharing a flat on the thirty-ninth floor of an apartment building returned from the nightclub late one night to find that the lift was out of order. Tired though they were, they had to climb their way up. To make it less tiresome, the four decided that one of them should tell a funny story on every other floor while the rested. On the thirty-seventh floor, while they were taking their final rest, the one whose turn it was to tell a story said: “Well guys, I’ve got the funniest story of all, we’ve left the key on the ground-floor?
UNSATISFIED CUSTOMER
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong. ”Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a N1, 000 note on the pillow without thinking.” ”Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says his friend. “I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can’t expect you to have been saving yourself all these years.” ”That’s not the problem, ” the groom says. “She gave me N300 change!”