A recent family event impelled me to write this article.
My youngest sister recently visited me; she was hysterical and visibly shaken. After examining her, I noticed the bruises on her body which she claimed were inflicted by her husband of two years. I was so infuriated. I wanted to go over to their house and beat him to a pulp in black and blue shades, but my sister would have none of that.
I’m a man who doesn’t subscribe to the physical assault against women. I am also against mental, emotional or verbal abuse. I don’t think it’s justifiable in any circumstance.
Guys, why are some of us quick to lash out at our spouses when we are frustrated? Your spouse is not your problem. The hassles and challenges you face have nothing to do with her! You don’t have to let out your frustration on her.
Ladies, I implore you to look before you leap for joy at any and every marriage proposal. Most men are not worthy of you. It is, in fact, true that most of you are doing very well professionally and do not need to settle for just any man to feel complete. You need to know that:
- There is really nothing a man can do for you that you can’t do for yourself.
- Most of you can handle your bills and home competently without aid or support.
Therefore, you should discern carefully what kind of man you are settling for before you end up with the fist of an abusive man on your face. It is pertinent you ask these questions before you proceed into marriage:
- Does the man have respect for womanhood?
- Does he regard his mother and how does he treat his sisters?
- Is he a man who holds himself to high moral standards or is he a playboy?
- Is he striving for excellence in every aspect of life?
- Is he in sync with you mentally? Can he talk sensibly about life and other issues apart from football?
- Does he have spiritual depth? In essence, when it comes to spirituality, does he adhere to St. Paul’s advice: ‘Examine all things; hold fast to what is good’?
- Is he financially stable?
- Does he have emotional intelligence? Is he sensitive enough to understand the experiences of women, yet strong enough to keep you grounded?
- Is he honest in his dealings with you and others?
- Is he a family-oriented man who will keep true to his marital vows?
- Does he have leadership qualities to run the home in a just and fair manner? Does he believe that decisions should be reached by consensus or is he the type that says his word is law?
- Does he consider you as a partner and helpmate and not a slave to be at his beck and call?
- Is he someone you can look up to? Will you respect him?
I wish my sister asked herself these questions and answered them truthfully before she ended up with the monster she married. Dear ladies, please shine your eyes before you say “I do.”