Abuse in relationships is not always obvious. Many people assume abuse only means physical violence, but it can also be emotional, psychological, financial or even social. An abusive relationship strips away self-confidence, independence and peace of mind. Recognising the signs is the first step towards seeking help and reclaiming control of your life.
- Constant criticism and humiliation
If your partner continually belittles, mocks or insults you, this is a sign of emotional abuse. This behaviour may happen in private or in front of others. Over time, it erodes self-worth and makes you doubt your own abilities and value.
- Isolation from friends and family
Abusers often try to cut their partners off from loved ones. They may discourage visits, monitor phone calls or create conflicts to keep you from connecting with others. Isolation makes it easier for the abuser to exert control.
- Controlling behaviour
A partner who dictates what you wear, where you go or who you meet is exercising unhealthy control. This can extend to financial matters where you may be denied access to money or forced to account for every expense.
- Unpredictable anger and intimidation
Walking on eggshells around your partner because you fear their reaction is a warning sign. Abusers often use threats, shouting, breaking objects or intimidating gestures to create fear and maintain dominance.
- Blaming You for Their Behaviour
If your partner frequently shifts responsibility for their actions onto you, saying that you caused their anger or forced them to react a certain way, this is emotional manipulation. No one is responsible for another person’s abusive behaviour.
- Gaslighting and Manipulation
Gaslighting is when your partner twists facts or denies events to make you doubt your memory or perception. Over time, this causes confusion and self-doubt, making it harder to trust your own judgement.
- Physical violence
Hitting, slapping, pushing or any form of physical harm is abuse. Even if it happens once, it should never be minimised. Physical abuse often escalates over time if left unaddressed.
- Sexual coercion
Being pressured into sexual acts you do not want, or being made to feel guilty for saying no, is abuse. Consent must be freely given, without fear or force.
- Financial control
If your partner withholds money, restricts your access to finances, prevents you from working or forces you into financial dependence, this is financial abuse. It is another way to trap someone in the relationship.
- Fear of leaving
If the thought of ending the relationship fills you with fear because of possible retaliation, threats or manipulation, it may indicate that you are trapped in an abusive dynamic.
Seeking help
Recognising these signs is an important first step. If any of them feel familiar, you are not alone. Support is available through trusted friends, family, professional counsellors and helplines dedicated to those experiencing abuse.
No one deserves to live in fear or under control. Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust and equality. If your relationship does not reflect these, it may be time to seek safety and support.