My sufferings are immeasurable,
It’s Mysterious,
It’s Perplexing,
It’s Horrible,
It has sap out my strength,
Can’t point a finger at it.
I tell myself every hour, “Isn’t getting back to the dust better than living?”
I tell myself every Minute, “What has come over me?”
“Why is every Second speaking of the future uncertainty?”
“Why is it so hard to accomplish?”
“Why is it so tough to realize?”
He (God) says I am born to win,
He says I should wait upon him,
He says I am born to reign,
He says I am a city placed upon a hill that cannot be moved
He says I am destined for greatness,
He says am no ordinary person.
Why can’t I feel it?
Why can’t I have it?
Why can’t I boast of any?
I seem so ordinary.
I Wow! at a building.
This castle I trek past everyday keeps calling,
It keeps drawing,
It keeps toiling with my dignity,
It keeps speaking even to my dumb ears clearly,
It keeps making my dull eyes glow.
The Bailey’s so fascinating,
The Bailey’s so irresistible,
The Bailey’s so beautiful,
The Bailey’s so amazing.
Never seen such!
And to my surprise;
It owns itself,
It built itself,
It stands alone.
Something tells me,
“Why not enter and see?”
“Why not enter and claim?
It will answer to all your worries,
It may bring an end to your wretchedness”
“If not someone else might”
“What a great opportunity!” I tell myself.
These Bones of mine yearns for Luxury,
This Hair of my head yearns for Softening,
This Skin of my body yearns for Treatment,
These Teeth of mine cries for Attention,
This Small Intestine of mine thirsts for Chicken,
This Large Intestine of mine thirsts for Beverages.
This is my chance, I must seize it.
This is my time, I go in now or I loose it.
As I enter the gate,
I open my eyes but can’t blink it.
I open my mouth but can’t close it.
I point at the building inside the gate but can’t put my hands down
Eventually, I find myself.
The castle is now mine; I dwell in it.
The castle is now mine; I rock in it.
The Bailey is now mine; I boast of it.
But whenever my heart tells me,
“It’s Trespassing.”
“It’s Transgression.” I ignore it.
The comfort, I stick to.
As time pass by,
I begin to step on the mysterious.
I begin to talk with the invisible.
I begin to hear strange callers.
My interest dies,
No longer see beauty in it.
No longer see goodness in it.
I run out.
While speeding out of the castle
Darkness overcomes.
The fascinating Bailey has turned a scary Bailey.
The irresistible building has turned to a haunting one.
This Bailey is seriously demanding for my pay.
The gate, locked!
This is Doom!
This is Hell!
A human in a Lion’s Den
Finally I realize,
A sword might be shining but its other side is deadly.
All that glitters is not gold.
God help!
Lord deliver me!
Am stuck!
“For the love of money is the root of all evil; which while some coveted after, they have erred from faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows”(1 Tim 6:10).
Poem by Buoye Oluwatosin Aanuoluwa Ruth.