HOLY HUMOUR
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, and then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest says, “Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand.”
The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, “Try saying things like, ‘I see,’ ‘yes,’ ‘go on,’ ‘I understand,’ and ‘how did you feel about that?'”
The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than saying, ‘Whoa… What happened next?”
SMART MOVE
I changed all my passwords to “incorrect”, so that whenever I forget, it will tell me, “Your password is incorrect.”
BOOZE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
The secondary school geography teacher went
to drink at a beer parlour after school. His wife was at home waiting for him to come back as usual.
As dusk approached and he’s not yet back, she thought he is staying for evening class. 9pm and no sign of him, the wife became worried and alerted some friends. They all went to the school to find everywhere empty. They called the principal and he said the man left for home immediately after school.
What has happened? The wife was beside herself with worry. Midnight, they went and reported to the police who Joined in the search. At about 3.00 am they found the man sitting at a corner, wide-awake but dazed from too much booze. They reached to him and asked why he was sitting out on the streets in the early hours of the morning.
He chided them for not being knowledgeable about geography..” Since the earth rotates along its axis, I decided to sit here and wait for my house to come round”
DEFINITION
FOOTBALL FAN: A guy who yells at the striker for missing a penalty and then can’t find his own car in the parking lot after the game.