HOLY HUMOUR
BORED MEMBER
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board members,” explained the minister. “I know,” said the man, “but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, then I’d like to meet him.”
THINK ABOUT IT
“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” – Jonathan Winters
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
PROUD TO BE A NIGERIAN
A man died & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to the German hell & asks, “What do they do here?” He is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day”. The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell. Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in…Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?” He is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day.” But that is exactly the same as all the other hells, why are there so many people waiting to get in?” asks the man. A concerned fellow calls him aside and said, “Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair doesn’t work. The nails were paid for but were never supplied by the contractor, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for other business!!”
That day, that man was finally proud to be a Nigerian.