HOLY HUMOUR
CAN’T CHANCE IT
“A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, ‘You can have her shipped home for N500, 000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for N50, 000.’ The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, ‘Why would you spend N500, 000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only N5000?’ The man replied, ‘a man died here about 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.’
THINK ABOUT IT
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Are you a parking ticket, because you have “fine” written all over you?
DID YOU HEAR
THE EXORCIST
“They call my husband ‘The Exorcist.'”
“Why?”
“As soon as gets to a party, he rids it of all the spirits.”
THE SUNDAY JOKE
SO DIFFERENT
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
She was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years?! Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of that car?”
God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”
Photo-Credit: mayoclinic.org