HOLY HUMOUR
FACINATING TALES.
A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions and asks an older priest to observe one of his sessions to give him some advice. After a few minutes of listening, the old priest suggests they they have a word. “I’ve got a few suggestions,” he says. “Try folding your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand. The new priest tries this. “Very good,” says his senior. “Now try saying things like ‘I see’, ‘I understand’ and ‘Yes, go on’.”
The younger priest practices these sayings.
“Well done,” says the older priest. “Don’t you think that’s better than slapping your knee and saying, “Wow! What happened next?”
THINK ABOUT IT
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese proverb
IF
If it’s the thought that counts, think money.
DID YOU HEAR
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
THE SUNDAY JOKE
DOUBLE, DOUBLE.
A man finds a genie who says that it will grant him three wishes but that every politician in Nigeria will get double.
The man agrees and says to the genie, “I wish for a million dollars”
“Granted,” says the genie, “but remember every politician in Nigeria will get double.”
The man says, “ No problem. Now I wish for a Rolls Royce.”
“Granted,” but remember every politician in Nigeria will get double
Now what is your final wish?”
The man says, “I wish to have one of my kidneys removed.”