HOLY HUMOUR
NO ENTRY
One of the older Lagos Pentecostal churches is notorious for its exclusiveness. A bum took a fancy to the church, and promptly told the Pastor that he wished to join. The clergyman sought to evade the issue by suggesting to the man that he reflect more carefully on the matter, and makes it the subject of prayers for guidance.
The following day, the bum encountered the Pastor.
“Ah done pray, sah,” he declared, beaming, “an’ God he done send me an answer las’ night.”
“And what was it?” queried the clergyman, somewhat at a loss. “What did the Lord say?”
“Well, sah, He axed me what chu’ch Ah wanted to joine, an’ Ah tole Him it was your own. An’ He says: ‘Ho, ho, dat chu’ch!’ says He. ‘You can’t git in dere O. Ah know you can’t …’cause Ah been tryin’ to git in dat chu’ch fer ten years mahself an’ Ah couldn’t O!'”
THINK ABOUT IT
“ Love is an ideal thing, marriage the real thing.” Goethe
IF
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do you keep eating all their food?
DID YOU HEAR
“I saw a fat person wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said ‘Thyroid problem?” – Peter Kay
THE BOTHROOM’S JUST FINE.
A lady came in for a routine physical at the Doctor’s office. “Here”, said the nurse, handing her a urine specimen container. “The bathroom is over there on your right. The Doctor will be with you in a few minutes.” A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face. “Thanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all!”