HOLY HUMOUR
ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR ME
Two little boys stole a big bag of orange from their neighbour & decided to go to a calm place to share the loot equally, one of them suggested the near by cemetery.
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the bag behind the gate but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
A few minuets later a drunkard on his way from a bar passes near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying: “One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you.” he immediately sobers up and runs as fast as he can to the church near by for a priest.
“Father please come with me, come and witness God and Satan sharing the dead in the cemetery.”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: “One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you…”
Suddenly the voice stopped counting and says: “What about the two at the gate?”
Wow! You should have seen the speed with which the priest ran off shouting “We are not dead yet ooo…!!!”
THINK ABOUT IT
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.
Theodore Roosevelt
IF
If a man speaks his mind in a forest, but no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
DID YOU HEAR
Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?
A: He just flipped.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer. You’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air-conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. And the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day St. Peter calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey things are going great. We’ve got air-conditioning, flush toilets, escalator, and there is no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. St. Peter replies, “What! You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there. Send him up here.” Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” St. Peter says, “Send him up back here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right and just where you are going to get a lawyer?”