HOLY HUMOUR
WRONG KEY
“Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying ‘You gave me the wrong key‘!” – Anaïs Nin
THINK ABOUT IT
“If we don’t get lost, we’ll never find a new route.” – Joan Littlewood
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.
HIGHEST BIDDER
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you N100, 000 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a wad of N1000 notes amounting to N100, 000 and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?” The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes, I do” then leaned toward the priest and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.” The priest put the wad of N1000 notes amounting to N100, 000 into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”
DID YOU HEAR
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head
THE SUNDAY JOKE
SSSHH – TOP SECRET
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door, as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.
Photo-Credit: huffpost.com