HOLY HUMOUR
HIGHEST BIDDER
During a Papal audience, a businessman approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s Prayer from “give us this day our daily bread” to “give us this day our daily chicken.” and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
THINK ABOUT IT
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
SCHOOL AILS
Boy: I can’t go to school today.
Dad: why not?
Boy: I don’t feel well
Dad: Where do you not feel well?
Boy: At school
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
You know, my psychologist says I’m afraid of commitment…Want to help prove him wrong?
THE sunday JOKE
TABLOID JOURNALISM
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: “PREACHER’S ASS SHOWS”
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: “PREACHER’S ASS OUT IN FRONT” The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER’S ASS”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN” The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for N10, 000.00. Next day the headline read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR N10, 000.00”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: “NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE’. The Bishop fainted.