Holy Humour
Sweet Aliens
A race of aliens visits earth one day. They come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.
When it’s the Pope’s turn, he asks: “Do you know about our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”
Alien: “You mean J.C?”
Pope: “Yeah we know him. He’s the greatest, isn’t he?
Alien: “He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok”.
Pope (Surprised): “He visits every year?! It’s been over 2 millenia and we’re still waiting for his SECOND coming!”
Alien (sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize): “Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?”
Pope (retorts): “Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?”
Alien: “Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?”
Sunday Quote
If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?
The Sunday Joke
Good Tips
Paddy, newly arrived from Ireland, attends his first confession in New York. “What sins have you come to confess?” the priest asks.
“Ah, Father,” Paddy replies, “’Tis a terrible thing I’ve done. Blighted fair womankind, I have.”
“That is a serious sin, Paddy,” the priest replies. “Who was the woman?”
“Now, Father, I couldn’t tell you that,” Paddy replies. “It would be like betraying her all over again.”
“Only a full confession will cleanse you of your sin,” the priest admonishes. “And everything you tell me will be held in strictest confidence. So come on now — was it Mary from the Five Points?”
“Father, please don’t ask me.”
“Well, was it Kathleen from Hell’s Kitchen?”
“Father, I just can’t say.”
“Was it Sheila from Ninth Avenue?”
“No, no — I can’t speak her name, Father.”
The priest sighs. “Very well. Say three Hail Marys and put $2 in the collection box.”
“Thank you, Father, thank you,” Paddy says as he rises to leave. “Oh, and Father — thanks for all the good tips!”
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