HOLY HUMOUR
New Religion
A 16-year old girl enters a church in tears. “Please father, help me”
“What is it my child?”
“Father, I need your help. I’m pregnant.”
The priest sighed. “I understand my child. You have sinned but you are not the first, nor the last. Our Lord is all-forgiving and I’m here to help you through this. But first I need to understand how it happened.”
“I don’t know Father. I have not sinned; it just happened.”
The priest raised his eyebrows, concerned. “What you mean my child? Who is the father?”
“There is no father; I never been close to a man in my entire life.”
“Did something unusual happen? Is a family member pressuring you? Or do you remember passing out at party after a stranger offered you a drink?”
“Nothing of the sort Father; I’m a shy girl who doesn’t party and I spend most of my days at home.”
“Look. I cannot help you if you do not tell me the truth. If you are not honest with me, I may have to report this to the police.” replied the priest, mildly annoyed.
The girl dropped her defeated eyes to the ground. “I knew it wouldn’t work. I should have listened to my friend”.
The priest smiled, saddened. “I understand how difficult this is, my child. But I promise everything is going to be alright. So what did your friend say?”
“She warned me that the last time a girl managed to pull this one off with a priest, she had to create an entire new religion to cover it up.”
Sunday Quote.
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. – Curtis McDougall
Religious Light Bulb Joke
How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: “We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted-all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.”
SUNDAY JOKE
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