HOLY HUMOUR
Frustrated by his congregation’s apathy, the pastor surprised the Altar Guild volunteer when he ordered that prune juice be used instead of wine for communion. “Why prune juice?” she asked.
The pastor smiled. “If my sermons won’t move them, the prune juice will!”
Sunday Quote.
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion – several of them. – Mark Twain
Religious Light Bulb Joke
Q: How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman.
SUNDAY JOKE
The Perfect Pastor
The Perfect Pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes, condemns sin roundly, but never hurts anyone’s feelings. The perfect pastor works from 8 a.m. until midnight, is always on call, and fills in as the church caretaker.
The Perfect Pastor makes $500 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $100 a week to the church. He or she is 29 years old and has 40 years’ worth of experience.
The Perfect Pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of the time with the senior citizens. He or she smiles all the time with a straight face because of a sense of humor that maintains serious dedication to the church. The perfect pastor makes 15 home visits a day and is always in the office when needed.
The Perfect Pastor always has time for church meetings and all of its committees, never missing the meeting of any church organization. And he or she is always busy evangelizing the unbelievers.
The Perfect Pastor is always in the next town over!
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