HOLY HUMOUR
No enemies
During her sermon on Jesus’s teaching that we should love our enemies, Pastor Sue asked the congregation to raise their hands if they had enemies. Everyone did so except for Mrs. Watson in the front row, who had just turned 95.
“Mrs. Watson,” the pastor asked, “how could you possibly live for 95 years and have no enemies?”
“That’s easy,” the senior citizen replied, “I just outlived the sons of guns!”
Sunday Quote.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday
Actual Announcement from Church Bulletin
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
SUNDAY JOKE
A parishioner dozed off to sleep during the sermon one Sunday morning. ”Will all who want to go to heaven stand,” the pastor said. The entire congregation stood except for the lone sleeping parishioner. The pastor implored them to sit down and continued, speaking dramatically, “Now will all who want to dance with the devil, please stand. ” Just then someone dropped a hymnal on the wooden floor, and the sleeping man jumped to his feet and looked around sheepishly. ”Well, pastor, I don’t know what we’re voting for, but it looks like you and are the only ones for it.”
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