HOLY HUMOUR
Not Amused.
It was the week after the resurrection, and disciples were still scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages. John searched high and low for Peter and finally found him still hanging out in the upper room. “Peter, Peter!” he said excitedly. “I have good news and bad news. Which would you rather hear first?”
“By all means give me the good news. We’ve had enough bad news lately,” Peter said.
“The good news is Christ is risen,” John said.
“That’s great!” said Peter. “Now what’s the bad news?”
John, looked around anxiously and said, “Well, He’s really steamed about last Friday.”
Sunday Quote.
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. – Blaise Pascal
Actual Announcement from Church Bulletin
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
SUNDAY JOKE
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
Now less joyful, the priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all”
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?”
Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left me hat.”
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