In all honesty, we men are aware that most of us flout our responsibilities and are quick to give excuses or ludicrously deflect the blame away from us. Telling inexcusable tales of why we are not men of high integrity and honour.
Deep down we aren’t unaware that taking responsibility for our actions or inactions is the mark of a man who is taken seriously by both friends and associates. We all admire men who we see as responsible personalities and citizens.
Dr Elizabeth Medlock’s five steps to help us face, accept our truths and grow can assist us in taking steps to become responsible personalities.
1) Stop shaming and blaming: We can learn to see shame or blame as excess baggage and just set them aside. We could acknowledge and even regret our mistakes and shortcomings while accepting ourselves completely. We can begin working with our list of weaknesses by celebrating them. The more successful people are, the more likely they are to be open to looking at their flaws. We can love and accept ourselves and still work really hard to change ourselves.
2) Forgive yourself: One powerful way to move from shame to acceptance is to forgive ourselves. Before practicing new skills and new ways of being, it’s wise to clean house. We don’t need to beat ourselves up before we re-invent ourselves. We can be totally honest with ourselves and, at the same time, be gentle. While admitting our mistakes, we can treat ourselves with care. After all, everyone makes mistakes.
3) Let go of the past, but learn from it: We can focus on what we have learned from our past, without getting caught up in repeating our mistakes. The past is over. There is nothing you can do to change the past. The past is useful in showing us things we do not want to repeat and in exploring lessons we have learned that can be helpful in creating change in the future.
4) Face your fears: We all have them and they are responsible for holding us back. To identify our fears we need to pay attention and become an observer of ourselves. When we say we are afraid, underneath is a belief we have about ourselves- I am not skilled enough, good enough. etc., or a belief about the world–there is too much competition, people won’t like what I have to offer, etc. When we can let go of fear we can release ourselves in powerful ways.
5) See the connection between strengths and limitations: Most people place strengths and weaknesses in separate, unrelated categories. Another way to perceive them is as being closely related. Often the things about ourselves that we label as weaknesses are
simply examples of taking our strengths too far. A person with a passion for organization can become obsessed with details and lose sight of overall goals. A person who listens well may forget to speak about his own thoughts and feelings. The point is to remember that our assets and liabilities may all be part of the same personal account.
Source: https://www.selfgrowth.com/blog/personalaccountability.html