For the first time in a long while, Pamela felt good as she stared at her tummy through the mirror. Even though it was big because of the accumulated fat, she summoned courage to look at herself in the mirror and smile. The hearty smile was her response to all the ridicule she felt in a long while.
It was even worse that Felix, her boyfriend, aggravated her insecurities. In that space of their two-year dating, it was always about her appearance. If it was not her tummy, it was her forehead, and if it wasn’t any of those, it was her hair.
“Why is your tummy bulging?”Some time ago he asked her in public with a smirk, not minding that people could hear. It was supposed to be joke. She giggled slightly, pretending all was well. When she got home, instead of doing other things, she started thinking about her life. Was it really her fault she was on the plump side?
His constant comparison was draining their relationship. He had met her that way, seemed to appreciate her until he started showing his true colours. Felix used the slightest opportunity to trample on her self-confidence. She had almost lost it, but she was back on track again.
Two years of courtship and it was obvious she could not continue with this ‘toxic ‘ boyfriend of hers. She went down memory lane to the day she met Felix. They were seatmates in public transport. He appeared kind enough to have saved her from the loud conductor.
“Aunty, that seat na for two people” The conductor said as he beckoned to more passengers to fill the bus. The scenario was not new to her. Some times she had to deal with such embarrassment because of her size. That was before she became mobile. When it was obvious, passengers didn’t want to seat near her because of limited space, the bus conductor wanted to make a scene. Then Felix came to her rescue. He filled up the space she left. He extended his kind gesture by offering to pay for both of them.
She felt it would be a dishonour to let him go without staying friends with him. Before he highlighted from the bus, she requested for his mobile number. They exchanged numbers and got talking. In the space of three weeks, it had been serious talking and chatting on the phone. It became official when Felix told her to be his ‘girlfriend’, to which she willingly obliged him.
She didn’t know that there was more to meet her eyes. Felix had just got out of a failed relationship. In order to heal, he needed to hop into another. She was available, and he made the offer. If only he continued to be nice like the first day. But he kept comparing and reminding her of her flaws.
She tried to join a gym class, but it was not just her thing. Pamela had to opt out and accept her body. Would she allow people to control her because of her size? Pamela turned deaf ears to all her naysayers and jesters. She had to be comfortable in her own skin and accept her flaws. Instead of focusing on what was wrong with her, she would look at her good sides. She just got listed on Forbes under 30 accomplished entrepreneur. Her family was her biggest supporters and fans. She had a good heart and was a friend to friendless. To cap it all, she started a foundation to help ladies struggling with similar insecurities to find self worth.