Being born in a society like ours means we are embedded in the culture of respecting our elders. It’s common sense to revere those who have gone far ahead of us in age; however, the issue of respect may not be as black and white as we often believe. At what point does respecting one’s elder diminish the basic human right of the younglings? At what point does it intertwine with hypocrisy and insincerity?
A recent story which was shared by Tonye Cole on Instagram gained an ample amount of buzz on social media because it hinged on our cultural ideals regarding respect. In the post, Cole recalled an experience on a flight with Wole Soyinka.
Quite apparent in the story shared is a sly attempt by Mr Cole to malign the young man’s character through his looks – “muscled chest and tattooed biceps” – which society attributes and equates to being mannerless and disrespectful. (Unfortunately, ours is a society that demonizes looking ‘too’ good.)
The story attracted polarizing views, dividing opinions into two camps the apologists who side with Cole (these are largely the older generation) and the non-apologists who praise the young man, Tosin Odunfa, for standing his grounds.
The situation which is a case of rights over respect has been addressed by popular personalities including Mr Soyinka’s son, Olaokun Soyinka.
So my elderly father mistakenly sat in the wrong airplane seat, & moved when asked.
It was a non-event until Mr Tonye Cole did an Instagram post about respect.
I thought I’d write to Mr Cole & share a memory about WS & an airline drama when he was shown great respect indeed. pic.twitter.com/Ix1VtkgOuy— Olaokun Soyinka (@olaokun_s) 26 June 2019
Former minister of aviation, Femi Fani-Kayode, also gave his opinion on the matter. Of course, siding with Mr Cole.
The young man that told 80 year old Nobel Laureate Prof. Wole Soyinka to get up, move to the aisle and vacate the window seat for him on a commercial flight is disrespecful and irreverant.We know it is his right but it is not every right that u insist on exercising.#wolesoyinka pic.twitter.com/zFITO7PRu9
— Femi Fani-Kayode (@realFFK) 24 June 2019
There are those who sided with the young man.
A young Wole Soyinka would have probably done the same by “rightfully” claiming what is his. ?… We attach “too” much home training to some issues we shouldn’t.
— STAY WICKED ? (@solomatic007) 24 June 2019
Any diligent reader of Wole Soyinka will know that he would have insisted on his seat as a young man.
Yes, our culture demands respect for elders. But undue entitlement by senior citizens, especially when the premise is wrong, should always be resisted. That’s why we are here.
— Ayò Bánkólé (@AyoBankole) 24 June 2019
And those who made a joke out of it.
Me if I found Wole Soyinka sitting in my seat: pic.twitter.com/Rj204bOoaB
— Hot Boy J’onn Dough (@TJaiye) 24 June 2019
bearded tattooed guy: Excuse me sir, you’re in my seat
Every other person : Don’t you know Wole Soyinka?
Him: pic.twitter.com/4U6Una3E6m
— Dapper Don (@skinnyniggr) 24 June 2019
In conclusion, The question isn’t whether the young man lacked respect or not, but whether one should relinquish his right on the table of respect. Should silence be seen as a sign of respect? I believe speaking up or demanding for ones right does not in any way diminish our respect for the elderly. If this wasn’t so, wouldn’t we be inadvertently grooming the younger generation to be timid and cowardly.