Weeks ago, two mutual male friends came for a visit. They are both married. One had been married for 15 years, while the other, for 3 years. In the course of our conversation, they shared their experience within marriage, a few which was laced with a bit of sadness and frustration.
One complained that his wife has stopped wearing heels which were one of the things that attracted him to her; the other complained that his wife barely talks to him and instead, the attention has been diverted to their kids (especially with a daughter who is now of age to have a healthy conversation).
As I listened intently to these men express their pain, I realised that when it comes to marriage (amongst other things), we barely see things from a man’s perspective because society has carved out generations of men who believe machoism is the norm and to deviate is to be a sissy. Hence, men are silenced and told to deal with it ‘like a man’.
The truth is, men have emotions that matter and should be allowed to be as expressive as they want to be without feeling less manly. But for this to happen, we as a society should be willing to listen intentionally without judgement. Until this happens, we’ll continue to have roving men with emotional weights compounded by years of suppressed emotions.