By Bimbola Segun-Amao
Once upon a time, there was only PDA- Public display of affection. Love birds especially the young uns or new-lovers whose ‘love-o-meter’ reads high on the scale get engrossed in their amorous feelings and sometimes cannot hold their hands back from the other’s body even to public stare. Truth is PDA is common and can be inevitable as we have all indulged in a bit of PDA at some point; either it’s as mild as leaning in on your boo or holding hands not minding you’ve got company.
PDA is relative and subjective; I expect to see cooing lovers at a garden park or the beach side. It won’t hurt the eye to see some coiling with affection, random exchange of hugs and pecks. PDA can be so sappy, sweet and affectionate with older passersby flashing you a warm smile and a knowing wink saying “I’ve been there, done that”. One has to just not cross the line into being repulsive and disgusting.
Virtual display of affection has come to compete with PDA; since the social media life is busier than what it has been. Simply changing your relationship status from single to ‘In a relationship’ is your first VDA, then if you let yourself loose, you may unleash your VDA with a lot of status updates about you and the boo on the digital world.
So when it comes to VDA, how much is too much?
Social media feels like a performance stage; not minding which platform. It’s a one-to-many medium with a wide audience. Chances are that your status updates on social media isn’t just seen by your friends but their friends friends. The implication of this is, your friends are not the only ones seeing your updates. It would be safe to say, if what you are about to share about your relationship on social media can’t be shared with a micro-phone at a birthday or street party, do not put on facebook or any social media. Send as a private message if it has to be sent.
Your twitter followers or facebook friends do not need to know how intense the love you feel for each other, how damn a good kisser he is, or anything intimate about your relationship. If it’s intimate, it’s private and not meant for social media.
If you are sharing any emotional posts, keep it light, funny or cute. Nothing explicit. Tagging friends and other users on your emotional post comes across as seeking validation and attention; play to your audience of one- your partner.
I could bet a few thousands some guys rather than Nick Cannon have the picture of Mariah Carey’s boobs; the one she posted on facebook as Nick’s birthday present, posting raunchy pictures of both of you or you alone online is as awkward as flashing bare skin or making out in public.
To think of how fast love relationship fizzles out these days, it’s logical to keep intimate things personal because the internet doesn’t forget. One VDA gone wrong may be sitting in an intruder’s archive forever.