As women in the last fifty years or so have ventured and conquered the workplace, the dichotomy of the past is ever more apparent, and women have rightly fought hard to change society’s view about working women. But, by nature or by design, women still cannot run away from their ‘reproductive’ role, especially in the family.
The society is being redefined, the modern woman has a career ahead, a visoin to pursue, a fulfilment to experience. But, I should say that as women rightly highlight and progress in the public and business spheres, they should not come to regard their roles in the private home as secondary. Some may disagree with me, but there is something in our biology that leads us to nurture. We as women should be very proud of being the anchor of our homes. I consider it an honour to be the one my family depends on. I am not ashamed that I am the go to person when someone is sick, when someone is hungry, when someone needs a hug. That humbles me.
But it is not an easy task to do. And it certainly has gotten harder as more women move into the workplace. I do not think we should overhaul the default role we have in the home. But, as we navigate work and family, we should do so respecting and loving the man beside us. It is a hard task, and it would be unbearable if this respect and love were not paramount. The man also has a role to play, and for every family, there is no strict rulebook about dos and don’ts. Every couple needs to decide and define how their homes should be, doing so in utter love, respect and consideration of the needs of the other.
And as mothers, we should also live our lives in such a way that our children see worthy of emulation. The woman takes care of the children. I will not see this statement as a negative one that diminishes a woman’s capacity. I see it as power. We get to mould the future! Children learn more by example, and we should hold ourselves up to the highest standard for our children to emulate. And I think more women should realize that being this in the home, in society, is an impetus to not shrink, but strive to be exemplary in any task we do.
The role of the woman in the family by default, it is a most wonderful role; the woman defines the specifics with the loving people around her. Embrace it in whatever manner you choose to do so, but understand and be generous with the power that comes with it.
Chief (Mrs.) Dorothy C. Anyiam-Osigwe OON is an Agony Columnist, Writer and Company Executive.