There is a danger staring us in the face which is slowly threatening the safe future we all hopefully foresee for our children. We have pretentiously turned a blind eye to this societal menace lurking in the shadows. Or maybe it seems less important than the obvious economic and political issues plaguing our country. It may pale in comparison to the endless bloodbath in the northern part and the economic misdemeanour ravaging our country. Those directly affected are in the minority and their voices are drowned in the sea of more influential ones, unsurprisingly, they may prefer it so. But, they must be heard to prevent the imminent danger in the future.
More often recently, we continue to read of the incessant sexual abuse of children; innocent children, who look up to the adult to protect them have. These kids have become tools of relieving the sensual urges of some animalistic men. These children become battered emotionally, psychologically and in some cases, health-wise. They are left to bear burdens too heavy for their age. Yet, unfortunately, in many cases, the perpetrators never pay for their crime. Those I am talking about are not in the custody of the dreaded Boko Haram, neither are they in IDP camps, they are right there in their supposed safe haven – which isn’t safe.
Like many in this nation, I remained mute on this immoral activity in our society, until it hit close to home. Afterwards, I was left more conscious than ever about little girls around me. It sounded surreal to me but that was my tipping point. That experience made me dig deeper, and my findings left me shattered and I knew I must begin to act in my little ways to prevent it.
I was in my office in Lagos when I heard a knock on my door that rainy afternoon. Although I wasn’t expecting any visitor, I was not surprised either. A woman entered calmly. I knew her quite well. In fact, she worked in the church as a part-time cleaner. Her face was pale and I felt uncomfortable with that. I enquired what the matter was and tears rolled down her cheek as she narrated her tale.
By the time she was done, I felt like being the judge to sentence the man immediately. Her husband molested her 12-year-old cousin, Bose, who she adopted from the village because of financial constraints. Her only offence was that she was evolving, translating into teenage-hood.
I wanted to help but I didn’t know how. I referred them to my pastor and boss. After much discussion, they left. The following week, I found out that the girl was sent back to the village so to stop/prevent the molesting. I was unsatisfied and livid with the progression of things, so I confronted my boss. His response was, the advice was for the protection of the child, and for the family to still remain as one.
I recalled a similar incident a lady friend shared with me. This time, she was the victim. She bottled it up for a long time, and not even her parents were aware. She vowed to deal with men. She tried her retaliatory move in the university and succeeded on two guys. Although I persuaded her, I am not sure my words have done much to heal her wounds. She is close to forty and to date has remained unmarried, focusing on her career.
How many ladies of this nature are living in our society today? In a research conducted by the National Population Commission, one in every four girls experience sexual violence in Nigeria. In a similar research by Darkness to Light in 2007, it was discovered that about one in seven girls worldwide will be sexually abused before they turn eighteen. In a Bureau of Justice statistics report, (quoted from www.victimsofcrim.org) “1.6 % (sixteen out of one thousand) of children between the ages of 12-17 were victims of rape/sexual assault.” All these statistics show the magnitude of this deadly activity in our society.
I fear for the future of the family system in our country. The same families we are trying to save are systematically being destroyed. Girls who are holding issues against their male counterparts will rather choose to stay apart from men than accept them as husbands. This is more reason lesbianism is gaining ground in the nation. I overheard a lady talking about preferring to be a ‘baby mama’ than stay with a man. This is now a new song being voiced by many girls. We do not seem to understand the gravity of this until we see all the values embedded in our culture being eroded by this evil act.
Not until perpetrators begin to face the music of their action, this inhumane action will continue unabated. We must begin to speak out against it. We must talk about it to our children and expose the tactics these evil men are using. Parents must teach their kids to speak up when touched by anyone even if it is their father. Being observant is key. Adults must begin to be observant especially when another adult is alone with a girl. No one is to be trusted these days. When we come in contact with such an event, reporting to the authority should be prioritized before it is swept under the carpet like the case of Bose.
For us to give the future we desire for our kids, all hands must be on deck. We must all act in our little ways to prevent it from reoccurring and to ensure justice prevails for the victims.