Last week, this column dealt with the subject: Are Men Wired to Cheat? This week we continue on the same theme.
“I don’t think I could love any guy again. All they know how to do is to break a woman’s heart. Why can’t they just stick to one woman? What do they keep looking for in other women outside? Look! I’m through with having relationships”.
I studied her. She was dark skinned, petite and somewhat irresistible. I could tell she was young; not more than 25 years. That’s why I found it hard to believe that at her age she’d encountered so many raw deals from guys. I looked at her in an attempt to find traces of hurt in her eyes, but it was her voice that conveyed the message. She affirmed firmly that guys aren’t worth the emotional trouble.
Like a broken record, her verdict remained the same: men are pathological cheats.
But are they? Let’s talk about culture and what differentiates the African man from his European counterpart. Suggestions have been made from empirical deductions about the African man’s penchant for keeping multiple women as opposed to the practices in Europe. And while most African women oppose this assertion, it doesn’t make it less true.
Wanting our men to take on the lifestyle of another overnight might be an impossible request. The West has been on the monogamous train for over 200 years, it may take our men a while to catch up.
But what are they looking for that they can’t find in one woman? Is it a fear of commitment? Do they inherently lack self-control? Why do African men enjoy the burden of multiple women? In my opinion, it’s their love of freedom and the society’s willingness to give it to them. They are by nature, adventurous. They want to explore and probe beneath the surface. They aren’t content with what they have; they want it all.
Well, women aren’t having any of it, not now, anyway. Thanks to the influx of Western education, they are gunning for the one-man-one-woman rule. The educated African woman can’t tolerate sharing her man with another even though men aren’t too keen on being exclusively possessed by one woman.
Sometimes I wonder why women cry foul when they are equal accomplices in aiding men and their philandering ways. A young girl may know a man is married, yet she’ll still go after him for financial gain. Unfortunately, not every man has the capacity or self-control to resist.
From my conversation with this young lady, I surmised women are lovers, while men are he-goats roaming wild – this is a woman’s conclusion, not mine. Women have been tamed for years and now they aim to grab the reins to tame men. Perhaps they’ll do a good job, who knows?
© This article is from the now rested Celebrations magazine.
ByAnote Williams Ajeluorou
Edited by Pride Magazine Nigeria