Falling in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach- it is a good feeling, your partner appears perfect and there is nothing that would make you believe they would break your heart. But when you start noticing signs that your partner is cheating, your world becomes torn apart. Before making any decision, discuss these five crucial questions with your partner. These will help you determine if your cheating partner is forgivable or not:
1. What was their reason for cheating?
If your partner is an incurable cheat, it is no use forgiving the person because they would still go back to the act. But if it is just a one-off incident, it is easily forgivable. Pause and put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Try to understand their feelings and the circumstances that made them cheat. Can you reason with their perspective?
2. How was your relationship prior to the cheating?
You are more likely to forgive a cheating partner if your relationship was experiencing hitches and was rocky. Conversely, it is more painful to forgive a cheating partner if your relationship was sailing fine. If there are clues in the past, you would be certain it will happen again, which makes the decision unforgivable and even more challenging.
3. What would they do if the tables turn in future?
Asides the pleas and tears, it is important to consider what solid assurances your partner can provide to prevent future cheating. What is the guarantee they would not cheat in future? Can they demonstrate a genuine commitment to change and ensure a different response? Are they willing to make the relationship work again? The answers to these questions would determine if forgiveness is possible.
4. What has been your trust level?
Trust takes years to build and just a second to destroy. Do you have a history of honesty and transparency in your relationship? Have you been able to trust one another in the past? People can change dramatically overnight. So if you can still trust a remorseful partner, it is okay to give them another chance.
5. Do you still love your partner?
This might seem obvious but it is a really important question.
If you still love your partner and vice versa, you both are willing to give the relationship another chance, give it a go. It is normal to think why your partner would cheat when they still love you but it happens. If there is mutual love and a desire to start fresh, you both can focus on rebuilding trust, improving communication, and showing respect for each other. See it as an opportunity for a fresh start.