Nigeria is a typically male dominated society with many ‘traditional’ gender roles still at work, even if a woman is working it’s still expected by many, that the man will handle the bulk of the financial responsibility but as Nigerian women continue to make strides in the workplace this dynamic may change.
With better jobs, comes more power and ultimately more money. Good news for the ladies in question, but how about their other halfs?
I asked a couple guys how they would feel about dating/marrying a woman who earned more money than they did. Would it be a cause for celebration or a deal-breaker? Here’s what they said.
Kelechi, 25
It depends, who started making money first? I mean a relationship isn’t about money, it’s about understanding, and ultimately if she earns more money than me it’s for her pocket- not mine. I’m making my own money so…
It shouldn’t be a determing factor, as long as I have something good doing and she does too then it’s good for her and good for us.
[A relationship] has to be based on more than love or there may be blackmail like ‘I picked you up when you had nothing.’
If I didn’t [have something good to do]then I wouldn’t feel comfortable, if she’s paying the bills, I wouldn’t [feel comfortable], but if she felt her man had potential and she’d want to support him, I guess..
I would appreciate what she’s doing for us but I wouldn’t want her to be putting food on the table. Never, never. She should invest the money for our kids. [If she’s putting food on the table], I’d feel incapable of…I’m a man and we all have this ego in us—this manly ago, and it would be awkward having her do the major work. It would make me feel like less of a man.
Abu, 28
Of course [I would]. I’ll still provide because I believe that’s what men do. But she will spend her money on the family. What’s hers is mine, the same way that if I earned more she has access to all of it.
If I can’t afford to provide for my family then of course I’d let her. But she can’t hold it against me…as in, she thinks she’s the provider and as a result she tries to wear the trousers and disrespects me. Oh no missy.
If we can have more money then I don’t see a problem. As long as I’m no loser on 15k and she’s on 60k…that’s probably where the ego stuff will come into play
I don’t know if it would [make me feel insecure], I’d like to think it wouldn’t but I can’t really say to be fair.
I wouldn’t care what my friends and family think. If I’m happy that’s all that matters isnt it?
Ayo, 30
It depends on the woman’s character. If she’s about empowering the others coming behind her and not too keen on the money coming in…most importantly she has to be humble and make sure she has a family first mindset.
She has to exhibit the characteristics of a mother and a strong women which is to be empowering and nurturing of those around her, especially her kids and husband and then the people who look up to her.
It’s the responsibility of the man to provide for the immediate needs of the family. If we decide to buy a million dollar car for example, se can decided to add an extra million to upgrade it but it’s only because I initiated so to say.
All the shenanigans can be bypassed if there is a joint account. If they are both making a killing in income what does it matter who makes more?
There isn’t the need to broadcast your earnings, I’ll let our work in the community for our wealth. It’s not like I would try to conceal it but in most cases a woman who doesn’t care about the carnal nature of the world would ‘protect’ her husband when it comes to such issues, unless it’s extremely visible, a case where he drives a danfo and she’s a minister or something.
I would see it as a challenge and fight for more income generation anyway, that’s just the competitive nature in me. I wouldn’t see it as a threat. Most of all I’d understand that if I died tomorrow, she doesn’t have to look to any man to take care of the kids.
Guys, what are your thoughts? Would you marry a woman who earned more than you? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!