With each passing sunrise, I wish my mum was here to help me get through each day, I blame her for leaving me here alone, things between me and my Dad has gotten worse, his hatred for me has grown more than when my mum was alive since my mum died I and my twin brother has further grown apart, he locks himself in his room and turns the volume up, even thou we all stay in the same house its feels like we are all in a different world.
So I dropped out of school today, technically I didn’t drop out of my own will, it’s because my Dad stopped paying my school fees, he said he cant continuing paying for a child that’s not his, I thought he was just angry or in a bad mood but he was serious, I wondered what I had done so wrong for my father to disown me. One night his eyes were not fully open, it was like he was forcing them to open, he could barely walk on his own as he staggering, you could smell the whiskey all over him, he came towards me, placed his hands on my neck choking me, calling me a bastard, it was late in the night and my twin brother was in his room with his music box at the highest volume, he couldn’t hear me struggling for my life despite he was in the next room. I owe my life that night to our neighbor who works at the garbage company, he saw what was happening through the window, and luckily for me, the door was not locked.
Our neighbour saved me that day, every other day, he beats me every night since them for anything wrong even if am not the one at fault, I got beaten for house chores like if my twin brother’s uniform isn’t washed and ironed, I got beaten for even having friends so it was just me. One night as I went to throw the trash out, I met the neighbor outside he asked me how I am, that’s the first time someone has asked me how I was in months, he asked me if I was truly a twin or adopted, then he said my dad kept calling me a bastard the other day when he was drunk and said most time 90% of what a drunk person says is true, this got me confused I didn’t know what or who I was, I just wished my mum was here to explain why.
These past weeks have been worse, dad comes home drunk now almost every day, and things between I and my twin brother is distant, now more that he has been accepted to study engineering in a federal university of technology in another state, and he is moving this months end during the weekend into the hostel, maybe that’s why my dad has been drinking more, it’s been hell this past few weeks, the month-end came fast like it was yesterday he got his admission, what do I say to my twin brother who hardly talks to me, in the beginning, it was our dad who forbade him to talk to me, but over the years I guess it became a normal thing for him since I couldn’t talk to him I wrote him a letter before he left.
“Hey brother, I know we don’t talk and it’s not of our own doing I just want to wish you all the best in school, remember to eat well, sleep well, I wish I could go with you, I guess you got the one thing I always wanted, a chance to leave this house, I wish you well, enjoy your time in school okay.
Love, From your twin brother “
He wrote me one back before he left, it was short and probably made me know that reason he didn’t even sneak behind our dad’s back or disobeyed our dad to play or talk to me even the times when our dad wasn’t home. He blamed me for our mum and dad always fighting when our mum was alive and he blames me that am the reason mum and dad got into a fight on a rainy night that made my mum go out that night and died in a car crash. It was not long after he left I read the letter and my dad got back from dropping him off at the bus park and as I opened the door for him and he entered he said to me my son has gone to school what are you bastard still doing in my house, told me to get out and that’s how I got kicked out of the house.
Written by Daodu Kehinde