Man-to-Man is a weekly column that appears every Friday on Pride Magazine Nigeria Online. It is a column for men written by men that aim to encourage and empower our male readers to become Better Men in all spheres of life. We welcome contributions to this column and topics can cover all the gamut of life and living: Career, power, politics, finance, love, dating, sex, fashion, grooming, health, fitness,cars, life, spirituality, and what have you. Mails and contributions be sent to cao@pridemagazineng.com
By Charles O. Anyiam-Osigwe
Dating is a very important process in the development of a relationship even if it’s sometimes frustrating. There are so many people out there looking for someone special with whom they can spend the rest of their life with. Are you that special someone?
How do you view the dating process? Are you apprehensive, shy, hesitant, not interested, can’t be bothered? You cannot make an omelet without breaking an egg; and you cannot keep your emotional life on hold because for one reason or another you refuse to engage in a very important aspect of life and living. It is time you got rid of your inhibitions and self-doubts and approach dating with a healthy sense of optimism and anticipation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Will the person find us attractive, intelligent, and good enough, etc. etc.? Relax, you really are a unique being in the universe, and there is a significant other out there for you. It may not be who you thought it would be, or how you imagined your perfect guy/gal to be, but you will know its “the one” when you realize how perfectly you blend together as a couple and how you bring out the best in each other without even trying to do so. So shove your inhibitions aside and get on with the game of life.
To do this, you have to put your best foot forward. You cannot take yourself for granted. You have to pay attention to yourself so others will perceive you as attractive. An Igbo proverb says, “Neglecting to look after and appreciate one’s beauty makes one grow ugly. ” Making yourself attractive is a natural first step in finding someone special.
So, what is it exactly that makes someone attractive? Is it trendy clothing? A great physique? An expensive car? Loads of money? I dare say that there are a lot of trendy young men out there spending loads of money to look good too. No gainsaying it, most young men occupy their minds with thoughts of the opposite sex, and so spare no effort to make sure they can pull the birds. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive to others, but being attractive has to be holistic. Beauty should go beyond mere appearance. Another Igbo proverb says, “Manners are the foundation of beauty.” It’s not just about how good you look on the outside. When you feel good from the inside out, you radiate a beauty that does not fade with time.
It is also important we consider this when choosing a date partner – We must be on the look out for qualities that can give the relationship a chance of growing into something meaningful.
Here are some qualities to think about:
- Do you want someone with a great sense of humor? After all they say laughter makes the world go round.
- Intelligence. If you are very cerebral and intellectual, dating someone outside this league is a nonstarter.
- Do you like to be doted upon? Look for someone who has the gift of the gab and has the time to pander to you.
- Do you crave unconditional love, look for someone who likes you the way you are.
- If you are the overtly jealous, date someone who will be loyal and faithful to you.
- Honour, integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness highly. Most of us want these qualities in our significant other.
- Kind, caring and with a big-heart. Not bad. Such a person is a gem any day.
- Selfless, always thinking of the other, seeking always the good in others.
- Non-materialistic. Enjoys the simple things of life.
- Reliable. Someone who can be counted on in any situation.
This list is by no means exhaustive but you get the idea.
One has to be open to relationships. Yes, one’s emotion might get bruised, but the adage is true – A faint heart never won a fair lady and the converse – A fair lady never won her sweetheart by staying aloof. Get engaged – Go on dates but make sure that it is not dating for dating sake. Evaluate the prospect and if he/she seems to add up to your ideal, take the chance.
Image: https://www.blackloveadvice.com