Dear Dorothy,
My wife of ten years recently told me she no longer loved me, and wanted us to part ways. I believe my joblessness is what has put a strain on our marriage. Due to the distress in the banking industry, I had lost my bank job. I haven’t had a job for over two years now, despite how hard I have tried. Money is very tight and life has been stressful. How can I save my marriage? We have three lovely kids.
My dear,
I believe a promise is forever; and it is unfortunate that your wife is losing hope. When a woman is not engaged in any economic activity whilst married, the loss of the job of the breadwinner can put a lot of strain on the relationship. This is one of the reasons I encourage wives to be engaged in one form of economic activity or the other to help cushion any downturn in the economic fortunes of their spouses. Adjusting to the reality of life without a steady income is difficult for most married couples.
The inability of your wife to adjust to the new reality may be based on many things, one of which is that she may have never experienced hardship before. This is the main reason I always urge parents to bring up their children (boys and girls) irrespective of their social status to be resilient, resourceful and well balanced children; because life is not a bed of roses and challenges can come in all shapes and forms during life’s journey. This being the case, it is only the tough that can overcome and get on with their lives.
In your case, I urge that you do not lose hope and carry on in your effort to get a new job. You can take on “stop gap” jobs whilst continuing in the search for a job that suites your qualifications. Do not give up. Try and explain to your wife that the situation is not of your making. Remind her of the good times that you have enjoyed with her. Let her take her mind back to how you started, and the three lovely children that God has blessed you with. Ask her to pray with you and believe me that soon you shall witness the glory of God in your affairs. Be positive.
My experience in cases such as yours is that the women usually makes a U-turn once they see that their husbands has got another job. This is a pity because marriage should be “for better for worse”. Also from my experience, most men welcome them back into their home. So, concentrate on getting yourself a new job, stay positive, be prayerful. I am confident that you will overcome your present challenge and things will get better. Good luck.