When it’s time to take the big decision and settle for a partner with high hopes that it would be forever, the heart begins to dance around and many questions arise. Is she the one? Is he? Save yourself some headaches-Choose tested principles over passion and emotions. This is because principles do not change, emotions do, and this article is about love and principles. Principles never fail. If you jump out of a window in Lagos or Los Angeles , you’ll get the same result, a big fall especially if it’s from a good height. I found these timeless principles and would love to share.
The Strength Principle: Does this love drain you of energy or makes you want to take on the world? does the relationship give you new strength and creative energy? do you feel something is been added unto you or you are been drained of power? If it drains you of inner strength, then it’s draining you of life.
The Sharing Principle: are we able to share together? our dreams, our little joys, pains et al? do I want to make her happy or I want to be happy by myself at any cost? do I want to share everything with him? am I in love to give or to get? am I capable of self giving? is he willing and capable of doing same for me? Marriage is all about sharing.
The Respect Principle: Do you respect each other’s individuality? Do you treat each other well and with courtesy? do you show respect to each other’s family even if you don’t agree on most things? Do you acknowledge the other person’s presence even when you are among your buddies? are you treated sexy or beautiful all the time? If you are seen as sexy all the time and not sometimes ‘beautiful’, ‘intelligent’, or even ‘elegant’, the relationship might just be sexual, or someone needs to see the other person beyond being sexy. Do you care enough to ask about his/her opinions? are you proud of each other? if you don’t respect each other enough now, you’ll treat each other as dirt eventually
The Habit Principle: Can you stand his poor habits? Have you considered that he or she isn’t perfect? have you considered that love is never going to be enough? do you like him with his short comings and flaws? can you stand him when the passion is faded or burning out? You can’t have it all but you need to be comfortable with the flaws though you secretly wishes he changes.
The Quarrel Principle: how quick are you able to reconcile after a quarrel? do you re-hash past quarrels or you totally forgive? do you strive to outgrow repeated issues? do you look forward to seeing each other again even after a quarrel? do you fight fair or dirty? do you fight to always win? The ability to reconcile after a real quarrel must be tested before marriage because there are plenty quarrels in an ideal marriage.
Hope these principles help.
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