By Mimi Adebayo
Jumoke and Fidelis first met online and began communicating. The first time they saw face-to-face was when Jumoke had to attend to her company business in Port Harcourt; you see while Jummy worked and lived in Lagos State; Fidelis worked and lived in PortHarcourt.
By the time they saw face-to-face, they both decided to give dating a try believing that they would get along well. And they did…at first. The one week Jumoke spent in PortHarcourt was as blissful as can be; they stuck to each other’s side when they were not both at work and it seemed like they were made for each other. Then Jummy returned to Lagos and they both had to adjust to the long-distance relationship. Three weeks later, the problems started popping up.
A long distance relationship takes a lot of courage for both partners to keep it together. Yes, long distance relationships have been made easy these days thanks to technology and social media but truth is there are some things that are irreplaceable in a distant relationship. Let’s look at few:
- The couple spend considerably less quality time with each other. Let’s face it, no matter how long you Skype, or how much time you spend on the phone, speaking or chatting with your partner, it cannot replace the actual presence of that partner, especially when you lay together on the couch cuddling as you talk. These are precious moments that will be lost out in a long-distance relationship.
- Also, it is difficult to tell when your partner is lying. How do you ascertain that he/she is where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to do? All you have is their word. Question is how much that word is worth. You have no choice but to take them at their word. Now, some people have absolute trust in their partner and it is the foundation of that trust that will determine the strength of the relationship.
- Quick question folks, how well do you ‘know’ a person who you rarely see? Are the phone conversations enough to let you know how your partner behaves with people around? Can you Skype your way into his/her daily life? Do you know the friends he/she keeps?
- So, let’s say you’re dating and you hope it gets really serious, how do you know the right time to pop the question? How do you know that your partner feels the same about you? Even if you’ve been in a long-distance relationship with this person for over a year, sometimes it feels like you hardly know him/her because the long phone conversations cannot make up or the greater part of your lives you miss every other day.
- It’s sad to admit but with long distance relationships the tendency to lean towards infidelity is quite high. There are times what we need is just someone to hold us, talk to us, listen to us or just be there for us and the most likely person isn’t around to do that, you find yourself turning to the nearest person you can get to meet those needs.
The above are just a little peek into the ups and downs of a long distance relationship. If you’re going to go into one, do take into account that some or all of these problems might pop in the not so distant future.