The below article is published in the Man to Man column asking the question, would you want this to happen to your Sister?
A girl had a relationship with a nice looking young man that was everything she wanted her man to be. They got on well for 3 years but of course, like every relationship, they have their ups and downs, most of which was caused by other women in the guy’s life.
She complained, quarrelled, and stayed away but they still got back together. So, it seemed that the two would finally go far.
The girl called her boyfriend’s attention to the fact that she’s only hanging on, despite all he’s done because she wants to work things out with him. She was ready to settle down but she made sure she didn’t force it on him. She, in fact, pleaded with him to tell her if he had such plans for their future so she could move on instead of believing in a mirage. He gave replies that kept her hopes alive. She didn’t know what to do, besides hold on.
She knew what she wanted so she built her world around him. She considered and involved him in all her affairs. She dedicated herself and time – I’m sure he got more attention from her than she got from him. She was a poor student, but when she shopped, it was for two. She got money from him when possible but when she didn’t, she didn’t mind because she believed he truly wasn’t financially buoyant.
It got to a point when everything seemed to be working out for the better. She wanted to be everything he wanted. She did his cleaning, cooking, and cared for him generally.
At this point, her entire existence was about him; she was practically living for him. Everyone knew how much he meant to her because she didn’t pretend or hide how she felt.
However, in the third year when she thought their love was blossoming, she got the shock of her life.
The guy was unfaithful. He was dating someone else who he cared more for, so he broke it off with her. It was all over. She was devastated. Her world crashed before her and she didn’t know how she was going to start off all over again building another relationship. Among the bitter things she considered was suicide or even emptying a can of undiluted acid on the face of the ‘bastard’. But somehow, almost miraculously, she survived it.
She got the jinx because she had invested so much of herself, her life. The ultimate goal of her three years of tending to the guy was for a marriage consummation of their affair. She could not have thought of the guy a single day without seeing the long years stretching before them when they would live together in (blissful?) matrimony. She built her expectations around him and took it for granted that she had got it sealed forever with him. It was a lifetime investment when she placed her life down for him thinking he would thread gently on her dreams. But he came with a jackboot and made mincemeat of her heart.
The sense of betrayal and disappointment is crushing. Women trust too much, believe too much and make themselves vulnerable.
So how does one guard against heartbreak and the investment jinx? By loving carefully? Or not loving at all? The bad news is no hard and fast rules to the love deal. Some people get jinxed several times over. Everyone needs to follow their heart and realise that humans are liable for a lot of errors, which we must take in our strides.