Disclaimer:
If mama had consistently helped you in making right decisions over the years, if she’s gotten your back always, if she has selflessly churned out worthy advices for you, then this isn’t for you in all honestly, because your mama may be right. If your mama makes sound judgments consistently, chances are she’s still making a good judgment.
It can be difficult marrying someone mama disapproves of, especially if you’ve enjoyed a good relationship with mama over the years before the disapproved boo showed up.
It’s easy to think and state that one is an adult and can do as deemed fit but sages have come to submit that family is always important, you would always need comfort from home either your marriage is sweet or awry.
Love and passion could make one high on dopamine; the feel-good hormone. Dopamine makes people more talkative and excitable; it affects brain processes that control emotional response and ability to express pleasure. It really makes you giddy, vulnerable and blocks one’s sense of logic but in a very ‘lovey’ good way; no one else matters but your partner.
As much as you are in love and emotions are flying, you will have to step back and see things through momma’s eyes. You should ask momma why she is saying no; is the boo a sex-offender, cheater, serial liar, violent, pathologically lazy, chronically unemployed, have children by several partners, snob, disrespectful, or a redundant dreamer? If so, momma may be right, the guy isn’t good for you.
Mama may be having a hard time giving you out in marriage. Letting a child go is very hard on mothers; no matter the age of the child. She could be paranoid you are leaving the nest finally; a consistent reassurance that you love her and would lover her forever even after the marriage may calm her nerves.
Do you have PR skills? Here is the time to make good use of them for the love of your life. You have to know your brand well (your man) and be able to persuade your audience (your mama) that he is the next ‘best thing’. Mama needs to consistently hear and know how hardworking he is, how patient he is with others and not only you, how passionate he is about work and family and how he encourages and supports you. At every opportunity, you don’t want to miss out on showing off your ‘brand’. She needs to know he is a good manager of resources; he pampers you like she does plus all the fine qualities he possesses.
You may have that huge temptation to throw a fight and get defensive, don’t give in; defensiveness implies that there is something to defend. Respond to questions and concerns with respect and clarity. As much as you need to put your feet down and make clear your decision, you have to do it without dishonouring your parents. Handling this well and not losing your calm goes a long way in showing that you are ready for marriage.
Engaging a team to help with convincing mama could work also; your siblings or mom’s favourite person would do. It’s not so difficult getting through to my mom if she resists me, I go find her favourite person that if I’m able to win over, can convince her in tad time. There must be someone out there who influences her so much that could help with this, find that someone and engage his or her help.
In all, make sure you are sticking to the guy because you love him and can stick with him, flaws et al and not to score a point with or against anyone. The drama now may not be worth it after all if he turns out to be a poor pick.you don’t want anyone saying I TOLD YOU SO.